My featured blog for today is a particular favorite of mine, Jesus' General. This is a satirical blog presented in the vein of the Betty Bowers web site, and it's likewise devoted to skewering right-wing extremists. Here's a sampling of recent posts:
Do Androids Dream of Electric O'Reillys:
Dear Rep. Brod,
I just finished reading your open letter to Al Franken, and I have to say I'm very impressed. I particularly enjoyed the part where you wrote:
While you may attempt to defend your writing as satire, we hardly find anything defensible about your finding humor in your desire to have sex with women or robots that look like women simply to give yourself a good time.
I couldn't agree more. There is nothing funny about desiring to have sex with women or even robot women. Such desire is a sickness. It's a form of masochism. No real man enjoys the humiliation that always accompanies the sex act. It's not fun to be laughed at every time you drop your shorts. We undergo it because it's our duty--it's the only way to procreate. We sure as hell have no desire to be called "Vienna Sausage Boy" or "Admiral Tiny Dingy" between hysterical eruptions of laughter.
And the whole concept of doing it with a robot woman is just plain pathetic. No man wants that. There are other options that are far more desirable. That's especially true now with all the earth-shaking advances Bill O'Reilly's made in the field of dildonic technology.
Heterosexually yours in a biblically acceptable and absolutely non-robotic kind of way,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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High Priorities:
Todd Holland
Ramblin' Express
Casino Bus Service
Dear Mr. Holland,
Thank you, sir, for your doing your part in the war against Islamunistosantanofascism by accepting $382,000 in anti-terrorism grants. By God, if we don't fight them on your casino shuttles, we'll be fighting them in our bingo parlors.
Although $382,000 isn't much--I imagine most of it will go to special anti-terrorist booze and escort services like those upon which the House and Senate Republican Caucuses lavish so much funding--I hope you'll consider adding "Shuttle Marshals" to each of your runs. If so, please consider hiring me. I think I could take on at least 80% of the seniors you transport without backup, and 100% if you issued me a taser.
Throw in rubber gloves and I'll even implement a more intensive passenger screening process. You'd be surprised at where I was able hide an RPG launcher while I was conducting research on weapons concealment. It hurt like hell, but by God, I can sure as hell spot "the walk."
I hope you will consider it.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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